So, as always, big thanks to all of those who attended with us this year. It's the same blurb as always, but it wouldn't be worth it if we didn't get the good crowd that we do. So again, thanks. Granted, our attendance number is still a bit low, but it was an improvement on last year, so fingers crossed we start to recover going forwards. So, Friday; A little different this year as we are missing Mark, so, armed with my very own Costco card instead, myself and @Alex arranged to meet at the Milton Keynes depot instead, at 12.00, when my card would get us in. Phil (@stoneshed ) also worked it to meet us there en-route to Billing too. An uneventful drive there, no traffic/no dramsa, and I had mistimed my journey a tad, arriving just after 11.15. Cue a phone call from Alex, who was QUITE a distance away - at J10 of the M25 to be precise - he would not be meeting at Costco on time. Ha. Anyway, off I went into the store, where around 5mins later I bumped into Phil inside - we did the club shopping, almost buying Adult Nappies and Tampons to be used as deterrents for anyone getting emotional over the weekend, and then got back on the road to Billing. We were first there - we got to putting tents up, getting an old boy who was trying to set himself up for fishin on the stand to GTF, politely, in the process. As we were finishing my tent, the first of the Northern invaders, obviously a scouting party, arrived - @NathanB95 with some passengers - after what must have been a secretive radio check back to the others from the North, @NathanR94 and Hannah/Eleanor/Elea-Nah arrived. A few greetings made, when we were interrupted by the arrival of Alex, with horn pips and obscenties galore. Nathan told us that @LukeLieng95 was due to come down, but wouldn't be as he'd 'blown his Zafira up' so that was us expecting one less car heading into Friday evening.... @Matt-SRI soon arrived with preggers Jo, but was only 'visiting' rather than staying. We are pretty sure Alex & Jo were talking Wedding Fayres and colour schemes whilst the rest of us talked about manly things, as is tradition. It emerged that they weren't staying over the weekend as not only was Jo very pregnant, but that she had bought Matt some tickets to see a boyband or something and he was too excited to miss it... @jps1 soon arrived, with a flock of children in tow and a 'friend', and the stand mascot Bruce. I think in about 5 minutes they had lost a phone, never to be seen again. We later had @DAWN68 s first visit to the stand, as she uses a Caravan elsewhere on site for more comfort! It didn't take long into the evening for Alex to fire up the BBQ. We soon learnt that 'it doesn't get tougher than this' when it comes to cooking in a field. Apparently. Normal Billing antics were had - inappropriate chat, drinks, burgers, bread etc. Lambrini Cider?! The generator broke, which was just ideal - firstly we were trying to run it with old fuel, then with the fuel turned off, and then it stopped producing voltage after a couple of minutes with the lights on. Bummer, torches it is! It was in the dark, after Matt & Jo had left, that myself, Alex & Phil realised how vulnerable we were - including the army of children present, we were outnumbered by Northerners - 4:1. I swear I could hear one of my compatriots whittling a shank out of a tent peg to use as protection during the night... During the long night, Luke, who was due to not come, did then turn up! Along with a few members of the family in their highly specced VW Transporter - cue some tent pitching in the dark, of just a small one - someone forgot their tent poles.... Bad times. Lucky there was a Transporter there for a couple of them to kip in! A late one was had, but nothing too heavy. Saturday....... Firstly, woken by the bin lorry, as is tradition. A lovely tradition. Secondly, a sneaky walk to nicer toilets, as is also a personal tradition, whilst Alex got the breakfast BBQ going. The smell of bacon and mushroom soon got others awake, and that kickstarted the day. Myself and Alex went to the VBOA meeting, to hear the discussions about noisy bin lorries, as is tradition, but were surprised to NOT hear about how the Manta club with their special exclusive elitist toilets (in which I was taking black-ops poos in...) and showers were suffering with low pressure and a lack of hot water, which is most certainly not tradition. Once everyone was awake, we handed out some of the 'Photo Challenge' worksheets to those interested, and then myself, Alex and Phil decided to go for a little wander, to find suitable prizes for the eventual winners... Good planning! As we head off, @Sy & @Trish arrived, so they dumped the car and tagged along for the mooch too - taking their photos for the competition as they went. Phils camera decided it wanted to be gay and stopped working, seemingly scuppering his chances of an entry to the competition... We couldn't find many prizes - we decided a rusty Mk3 Cavalier sill panel signed by the Admin team may not go down well, nor would a polystyrene plate with a humorous comment penned on it by Phil, so I took the decision to go off site to get some bits. Job jobbed. On my return to the site, after missing out on beef, I found that Phils personal selection of meat was being done and was offered out, so I had some of that instead. Yum. More mooching was done, more chilling and talking poop was done. We are good at this. In the afternoon, a very private ceremony was held by a few of us to commemorate a whole year since the infamous 2014 Cheese on Toast incident. RIP. You are ever in our thoughts. Luke disappeared with half of his family, it turned out they were also going to the same Boyband concert as Matt & Jo in the evening! The rest of us were obviously missing a trick somewhere. As the evening drew in, we sat down with everyone who was ready to enter the competition to tally up their points - this was when I found out it was a tie - but on making comments such as 'it is a bit close', Phil decided that he could achieve a potentially winning score in 25 minutes, rather than the best part of a day as per the other 2 teams, so off he went... We tallied up his score on his return, and to give him his dues, he did very well. Not enough to win, but a valiant effort all the same, only 2 points off of the tie breaking score! After a question with an answer well researched through howmanyleft.com, we had a winner - Sy & Trish! A grand prize giving ceremony was had, and prizes were distributed; 3rd Place - 3x Premium Air Fresheners 2nd Place - 1x Autoglym Rapid Detailing set 1st Place - an Autoglym based Car Wash kit Not bad prizes for last minute searching if we say so ourselves. Actual prizes and not crap! Shocking! We collectively decided to go to the fair and the bar for the evening, prompted on by the stench that had fallen from Alexs bum as were were talking about the idea. Lots of money was spent on bloody Grabber machines, and 2p sliders. Not much was won, apart from by Phil & Hannah, both leaving with cuddly toys after hustling the grabber machines. A couple more drinkies were had before returning to the stand, where myself and Alex spent some time reading crap threads we had started in our early days on the forums. Then, came rain. Another late one, but not as late as Luke, who returned at ~2am, and then put up another tent in the dark, in the rain! Then.... Sunday; Woken up in the traditional manner, by the Bin Lorry alarm. As it was damp out, I didn't feel like getting up right away, a decision I had to reconsider after thinking someone was setting off bangers on the stand... I stayed in bed. Finally, @vx-scottw rocked up, in 'quiet mode' and woke me up for good. I got up, and found out the 'bangers' were actually made by Alex hammering the BBQ base plate to reshape it. Noisy b'stard. It was damp out, but not raining. Another black-ops poo mission was undertaken successfully, and the day started off as normal. We made breakfast burgers with onions and mushrooms, they were good - to be done again for sure. I went off to the VBOA meeting, heard the same stuff as yesterday, and came back. Had more meat, and then we got on with normal activities. Some tent pack-ups and some tidying up to save time later. After this, the small gazebo took a flight and was ruined - ready for the bin, great. Another mooch around the autojumble for tat. Another look at some cars. Matt & Jo returned to us, as we are only 10-15 miles away, and we were just in preparation to put Lukes modified Corsa Black Edition in for the Chairmans Cup. Off we went to meet them at the arena, and just as he was parking up with Alex - whump - the skies dropped. Torrential downpour and a dash for shelter in the Vauxhall tent, along with half of the show visitors... That pretty much signalled the first couple of hours of the afternoon, so in a slight lull of rainfall, we made our way back to the remains of the stand to pack it away. Some more epic bantz and then we said our goodbyes and made our way home. All in all, rain ignored, a good weekend as usual. Roll on 2016. Things we learnt this year; - There is no Google Translate function for accents from the North East - Lithuanian seems closest. - Our stand seems to resemble a car park, as we always get disgruntled people parking up and getting emotional when asked to move. - Lambrini-cider is a thing. Apparently. - Northerners like to hunt in packs. - VWs were apparently a big feature on our stand - VWxON? - For sale signs with a funny comment about the neighbouring car on the advert turn heads... - The Zafira is a rolling Biohazard. - Gazebo weights don't work too well when there are no feet for them to sit on. - My tent makes a surprisingly effective windbreak! - Grabber machines are crap. - Alex should not be allowed near flammable liquids and an ignition source unsupervised. - Billing loses some of it's appeal when it rains. - Trish may be getting a new car, we aren't sure if she has considered any of the current Vauxhall range. - The new Viva comes with heated mirrors as standard! - Our tent without lighting is a bit pants. - Lukes dad cooks a wicked curry and rice - please come back next year! - We have some good LOLs - More people should come to Billing with us. That's all folks.